I realised this morning that, give or take a couple of
weeks, I graduated from drama school exactly 9 years ago. Bloody hell. Gnarls
Barkley was at number one with Crazy. We’d only seen 2 series of The
Apprentice. The best mix up on TV had just happened when Guy Coma ended up
accidently on BBC News. And, like it knew there were a whole new bunch of
actors in need of procrastination, Twitter arrived…
But, after a few hours of dicking about on Twitter, it got
me to thinking about the lessons I’ve learnt in those 9 years. There are fair
few supposedly wise words that I’ve kicked to the curb; chiefly that a pair of
character shoes and a character skirt are a wise investment. I can only assume
drama schools suggest buying these so you can own something that gathers more
dust than your acting career.
However, a fair few have stuck and, because I’ve got a spare
hour and blogging time is scarce these days, I thought I’d share them with you.
Lesson 1: KKK
Now, when we were told at drama school that we should consider
the KKK when looking at potential jobs, I was shocked to say the least. I know
the industry is rather in favour of white actors but, really? They went on to
explain that when you’re faced with a job offer (it took a while longer to
learn what one of those was, sadly) you should consider the 3 Ks:
Kicks
Kudos
Kash (hey, we weren’t at drama school for our excellent
spelling anyway…)
I must say, I dismissed this at first. When you graduate and
you stare into the awful void that you thought would be your glittering career,
you, sometimes foolishly, take on whatever job you can get your hands on. But
it’s wonderful for those jobs you’re just not sure about. So, when in doubt,
see if you can get at least 2 of the 3 Ks covered. And it kinda works. Of
course, you can never be entirely sure and we’ve all had those jobs that we
thought would be fun but ended up being an utter nightmare (hello eating dried
apricots on a riverbank at 2am…) but it’s a handy little technique for those of
us who are a little less decisive than we’d like to be.
Lesson 2: We all have our own career path
This was a tough one to learn. You spend your 3rd
year determinedly planning your career. You’ll do a spot of TiE first because,
y’know, that’s totally the done thing. Then you’ll do a bit of fringe theatre,
a few short independent films…and oh, that’s what I did do. However, that’s
when it all starts to fall apart. I thought I’d then do some TV, maybe a major
advert and then, obviously, Hollywood would be ready for me and I’d be sorted.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
Now, that totally happened for some people in my year.
Others got the massive film job instantly and haven’t stopped working since.
Others got a TV job immediately and then never worked again. Others gave up the
second they graduated and I now get to log into Facebook and look at the houses
they own and the holidays they go on. But the majority of us just toddle along
our own little road. Sometimes we’re striding along looking fabulous, sometimes
we’re stumbling around drunkenly and other times we’re sleeping at the side of
the road while surrounded by biscuit crumbs and cups of tea. At some points our
paths will cross and at other times it’ll take us out somewhere horribly
remote. But I now find having my own path rather comforting. Yeah, maybe I
don’t look after mine as well as I should. I’m sure others get more money for
the upkeep and others are more resourceful but I like mine just the way it is,
potholes and all. Which takes me on to my next lesson…
Lesson 3: Don’t compare yourself to others
This has been the toughest one of all to learn. It seems
straightforward but, believe me, it’s bloody hard to not compare yourself to
others when you’re sat on the sofa, you’re wearing your oldest pyjamas, you’re
picking crisp crumbs out of your hair and you look up to see one of your drama
school mates looking a bazillion dollars on TV.
If we didn’t compare ourselves to others then we wouldn’t be
human. I don’t care how sorted you say you are, if you say you don’t sometimes
look at someone else’s career and then look at your barren CV on your barely
functioning laptop and wonder where the hell you went wrong, then you’re a
liar.
The point is that, when you see someone else doing
fabulously, you don’t beat yourself up over it. Yeah they’re on TV playing a
part that you’d kill for but have they ever got to pretend to be an electric
toothbrush in a church hall in Derby? Sure they’ve been listed in that ‘Ones To
Watch’ article but have they discovered that Papa John’s Special Garlic sauce
makes the filthiest, most glorious topping for macaroni cheese? See? You’re
doing just fine. You might want to get your cholesterol checked out but,
seriously, YOU’RE FINE.
So there we go. 9 years and 3 lessons later and here I am.
Sat indoors on a sunny Saturday afternoon wondering where the next acting job
is coming from. But I have biscuits in the kitchen, tea on the go, Netflix on
the telly and a pair of pyjamas that will last longer than any of the acting
careers of my peers so, y’know, my path ain’t looking too bad right now…
