Wednesday, 22 January 2014

An Invitation

Dear all,

To celebrate the 1st birthday of Casting Call Woe, I'd like to invite you all to a very special party.

You will all be picked up at 7pm sharp...

No pay unfortunately but you will get to ride in a white stretch limo with a midget and the band.

Please note that there is a very strict dress code...


Skirt so short you feel raped just walking past her

if u want wear your sexy bikini

Those wishing to come in fancy dress are more than welcome to do so but please note there are just a few rules...

We're looking for individuals to dress up in an oversized female genitalia costume

We need some girls to be psychotic nuns. You need to be willing to be topless too

She wears an unpractically sexy knight's outfit

Clothes size is important as the Grim Reaper robes are only available in SMALL

All guests are welcome to bring a partner. However, if you are, there are further strict dress codes...

Actor: full suit of armour. Actress: full nudity.

Male - fully clothed. Female - dressed in thong, semi-naked at times, has to do casting in underwear.

Men bring suits, women bring sexy gangster outfits and lingerie. 

Also, please note:

There will be a prize for best dressed

There will be a drinks reception on arrival...

The first 10 actors to turn up get a free drink from me. It's the least I can do.

A few notes regarding catering:

Main roles in a music video available. The band will do the catering. 

I can't afford payment but I can bring as much juice and biscuits as humanly possible. Biscuits are wicked. 

This will be unpaid & voluntary. However there is a place that does beautiful falafels around there

And for any of those with special dietary requirements...

We require you to be able to bring a packed lunch if we have a full day shooting.

There will be dancing...

Please note the frog doesn't need contemporary dance skills.

Willing to barn dance on camera.

And there will be entertainment...

Fagin on stilts.

And there will be goody bags for all...

Unpaid but you'll get to take home a small bag of coffee.

Carriages at midnight...

Sorry I can't pay but I can pick you up and drop you home.

Please note, I can't be held responsible for any guests that are remaining after midnight...

You will be turned to mince at the hands of the pitman.

Please RSVP at your earliest convenience...

Girls welcome, boys preferred.

Your esteemed host,

Miss L
(Her once striking good looks have simmered down to a kind of smutty mess.

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