Back On Our Feet

A photo of masked actors sat in a rehearsal room, a couple of them glance at the camera, desperately attempt to show with their eyes how pleased they are to be back, others stand chatting to each other in the background, another is intensely looking at a script while two others sit on the floor, legs splayed, mid warm-up.

An on-set selfie. Two masked actors grin intensely at the camera, one of them doing a peace sign. 'So happy to be back on set #blessed #setlife #borntodoit #backtowhereibelong'

A video of countryside whizzing past a train window before it pans to a masked actor as lyrics to 'There's No Business Like Show Business' roll on screen.

The last 16 months have been frankly appalling when it comes to convincing anyone that you are in fact still a working actor, but at least we've all been largely in the same boat. Yes, some were in first class cabins whilst the rest of us were flailing around in the sea, desperately waving to everyone on board and pretending that we're fine, but it was nice to know that a good majority of us were, basically, fucked. Of course, it was awful watching the industry we had spent years eagerly clawing our way into washing away, but there was a decent amount of reassurance from the fact that we finally had a very valid excuse of why things weren't going our way. Was I more gutted about not seeing my family this Christmas or missing out on the chance to not have to wheel out pathetic reasons about why I still hadn't quite landed my big acting break? Who can say, but I do feel sorry for all performers who weren't able to just gesture at the news when there was even a hint of Aunt Michelle asking when she'd be seeing us in EastEnders.

The problem now is that people are getting back to work. Casting calls are on the increase, rehearsal rooms are opening, sets are filling up and we're starting to see the #actorslife posts returning. Hooray. It's brilliant, it genuinely is. I say this, hand on heart, that it is bloody lovely to see performers being able to get back to work but we are very much not all getting back to work. Far from it, or at least that's what I'm telling myself. It is very easy to look online and feel like the whole acting community has landed back on their feet and we find ourselves wishing that we'd spent this last year and a half being a bit more productive. Why didn't we set up a Twitch stream? Why didn't we learn what a Twitch stream is? Why didn't we start writing that script we've been saying for years that we'd do if only we had the time? Why didn't we teach ourselves to become multilingual, multi instrument-playing performers with 8 styles of dance on our CVs? Now the boat has new passengers on board, new crew who worked hard for their place, and now we're floating away wondering if we can even remember how to swim.

I don't know what the point of this post is, but for anyone who happens to stumble here, looking back over the last year or so with a sense of bafflement as to what they actually did, you're not alone. The thought of getting those acting plates spinning again is daunting so it's okay if it doesn't feel exciting. I feel like I'm back to those graduating days from drama school but without the excuse that I've been training for the last 3 years. No, I didn't do any Shakespeare over Zoom. No, I didn't use the time to really get into voiceover work. No, I didn't work out how to use Twitch. Yes, I spent a lot of time wondering what would happen when the industry started to open up again and I was back at square one. 

So, here we are. We wait. We hope. We continue to wear our pyjamas throughout the day with pride. Maybe that plate will start turning again, maybe it will crash to the ground and we'll cry, or maybe, just maybe, we'll find something new to do with it entirely.