Shoot to Kill

Ah the first day of a shoot. The excitement of meeting the cast and crew. The thrill of checking out your location. The sheer joy of on-set catering. It's all a bit bloody lovely so I set off down to the wrong side of the river with a spring in my step, a glint in my eye and a growl in my belly.

The shoot got off to a lovely start by being picked up from the station despite the location only being two minutes away. The crew were all there and all seemed like normal, good people. The actors however very much let the side down. I don't want to sound like a preachy actor who thinks they're the only one who gets it right (I mean, that's exactly what I am but that kind of attitude doesn't win the hearts of a blog reading nation.) I was the only one who bothered to turn up on time with the other two actors rocking up an hour late. I know there are several thousand things that I do wrong but I find turning up late unforgivable. Unless it's totally out of your control (a lion decides they want to be a train driver) then there's no excuse.

Actor 1 turns up first. He barges in like he hadn't kept us waiting for 60 very long minutes and when I go to introduce myself, I'm completely ignored. Great. Way to make a first impression with your fellow actors. Twenty minutes later he comes up to me, shouts his name in my face, doesn't give me chance to introduce myself nor does he ask for my name. I'm pretty sure he still doesn't know it. Oh well, I get to play with a lot of weapons on this shoot. He better watch out for my dangerously clumsy hands and the frightening amount of weapons I have to handle during this shoot.

But anyway, my anger and I digress. We shot. We missed a lot but we also scored a few times and much japery was had. However, an over zealous director and an ever ticking clock meant that panic started to set in about how the hell I'd be getting home. The shoot was meant to end at 10 but at 11.30 we were still going strong. Thankfully my very unsubtle comments to the runner who was also relying on trains about when the last wagon would be leaving didn't go unnoticed and we finally wrapped for the day. A hair-raising car journey across London as we tried to chase final trains then ensued and I finally got home with a stomach only cradling a small bag of Discos at 1am. Add this to the fact that my alarm was then set for 7.30 the next morning and the world was faced with a miffed, exhausted but ultimately relieved at avoiding nightbuses Miss L.

Actor 1 was nearly 2 hours late this morning but much of my day has been spent throwing tools across the room. Actor 1? Meet this hammer and my careless throwing skills...