Representin'

I realise you've probably been barely able to sleep after yesterday's blog. I imagine you woke up after only a couple of hours slumber this morning, desperately checked your phone/laptop/BBC News and were exasperated to find that there was still no update on my story. Please people, put down your phones for this news is in and I'm pleased to announce that, for some unfathomable reason, they have decided to take me on! No, no. There's nothing wrong with your hearing. You heard right the first time and this calamitous actress has somehow found someone who thinks she might be worthy putting up to audition for second maid on the left.

So what now? I've spent so long taking care of myself that I'm a little unsure what to do now. Of course I can still apply for things myself and I'll continue to do so but a lot of it will now be done by my agent. I realise I should now use this free time to be constructive but, as I've said many times before, I'm not the greatest at utilising my free time for anything other than crisp eating and wall staring. I should really be using my time work on the skills I was harping on about in the meeting yesterday but instead I'm using my free hours to work out just what we'll do if the chilli plant keeps growing at the rate it is as the moment...

And while I'm absolutely delighted to have an agent, it does feel like I've lost control of what I do a little. I realise I need an agent if I'm ever going to break out of an endless string of unpaid short films and adverts that don't ever make it to air but when it was just me putting myself up for things, I knew exactly what I was doing. It's hard to explain without sounding like the laziest actress this side of Lazytown but when I was applying jobs myself, I could pick and choose when and where I wanted to work and if I felt like having a week off (I know, most of my weeks are classed as 'off') then I knew I just wouldn't apply for anything on that week. But now I've got someone who wants their commission and while I can tell them when I can and can't work, the control lies very much with someone else now.

I realise this makes me sound incredibly ungrateful and nothing could be further from the truth. I'm very happy indeed that they've taken me on and it's what I've wanted since I got back into acting six months ago. It's just merely a thought to ponder on a very cold Wednesday afternoon while I sit by myself overdosing on Simon & Garfunkel.

Tonight I have the screening of the filming I did last year. Check back here tomorrow for some guaranteed self-loathing...