Late Expectations

I was planning on writing about the damn workshop audition I had to attend today. I was all set to rant and rail about what a terrible experience it was but, annoyingly, it was actually ok. Of course, I didn't enjoy always being in the wrong place at the wrong time and therefore constantly having to play the more dull of the two characters. Nor did I enjoy getting chewing gum on my be-socked feet within ten seconds of entering the audition room, meaning that I spent much of the morning with a trail of gaffer tape and cotton trailing behind me like a lost theatre puppy. And I really didn't enjoy the X Factor style ending they decided upon meaning that those of us who they didn't want to see again had the pleasure of being told so in front of the successful ones. It's not every day you get to be publicly rejected before lunch time.

But apart from those things, it was all relatively painless. All the other auditionees were very lovely and I had much fun. So instead I'll be writing about my second audition of the day. Oh yes, I had one of 'those' days where you get to feel like a proper actor. So read on...

The initial signs for my second audition weren't good. I'd had a read of the script and it was fair to say that I wasn't impressed. Reading the script was mainly an exercise in frowning and sighing and I was left feeling annoyed, perplexed and in need of tea and hugs. I thought that either the script wasn't well written or that I was a bit thick because I really didn't get it. If the play wasn't on in a very lovely theatre then I'd have considered turning down the audition. So, I wasn't in the best frame of mind and this then wasn't helped by London transport being about as useful as my 8 year old copy of Contacts. But despite having to almost leave London to get back into it again, I still arrived at my audition twenty minutes early. Once the two box office staff had stopped licking each other's necks (seriously) I was informed that auditions were running about 30 minutes late so I'd be waiting for just under an hour. I was exhausted by this point so I positioned myself on a comfy sofa by the window and set upon some good old fashioned waiting.

After a good while spent watching an army of old man perform an intricate dance of creepiness around the foyer, it finally seemed like it would be my turn to go in. The director wandered over, looked at me, looked at the other people waiting and then wandered off again. He peformed this ritual a good three times which, at the speed he was going, took a good 5 minutes. Eventually, he came over to me and I was on my way. Now, this man did not make a good first impression. His hair was on end, he was shuffling around in a manner I've only seen in myself when suffering with a particularly bad wine hangover and, to top it all off, he had a massive tea stain down his shirt. This would be interesting....but it was. The audition was wonderful, the audition panel were an absolute joy and I did probably the best audition since getting back into this silly game. Despite being tired, hungry and in desperate need of a cup of tea, I left the audition with very springy steps indeed.

Oh, and the director explained the story to me. Turns out I am a bit thick...

Final Hour

I must start by apologising to you all who were left waiting yesterday for my verdict blog. I realise many of you probably haven't been able to sleep or eat, worrying what the outcome was after being told that I'd made it down to the final two for the advert. I imagine it was a very difficult day for you all and I'm sorry that I was unable to get the important news out to you sooner.

But fear not because a conclusion has finally been reached. Grab that sandwich and then get to bed because your lives can get back to normal once again. But before then, I'll give you a brief idea of the build up yesterday. They obviously decided that instead of putting me out of my misery and calling me up early, they'd instead put me through some tortuous X Factor style, drawn-out wait. From the second I woke up, I was checking my phone. Each glance at my phone would bring out a 'WHY HAVEN'T THEY CALLED YET?' cry that I'm sure drove T to the point of wondering how easily he could get away with my murder. Hour after hour passed until it was gone 5pm and I'd resigned myself to the fact that they just weren't going to call. In my head, they'd offered the part to the other actress and were just waiting for her confirmation before they called me up with the bad news. I'd practiced my gracious defeat voice in my head and I was ready...

T has been giving me a Star Wars education over the last couple of days. The previous attempt at getting me to watch the films resulted in me falling asleep within the first fifteen minutes but this second attempt was going extremely well and after only two days, we were already on Return of the Jedi yesterday afternoon. It was just before 6pm and Luke and Vader were about to go head to head when my phone suddenly rings. It's from a blocked number and so I answered it, fully expecting to be told that I'd won some bogus competition. But no. It was the production company telling me that they'd loved what I did in the audition and they'd like to offer me the part. Hooray, huzzah and yahoo! I realised that I'd been so busy honing my loser speech that I was a litle lost for words so I think I vaguely mumbled some phrases whilst being told that I'd be emailed further information in the next day.

But who cared what I said. Miss L is going to be on your screens (if you live pretty much anywhere apart from the UK.) Living in mainland Europe and thinking about being a fisherman in Fishbourne, a marketing assistant in Market Harborough or a newsreader in Newcastle then now might be the time to start putting those plans into action.