First Draft

Yesterday was my first day of being a resting actress proper. My Edinburgh jobs finished last Monday and it has taken a week of zoo visits, Lord of the Rings viewings and vegetable consumings before I can safely say that I have re-entered the real world. Haggis has been replaced with broccoli, cider has been replaced with juice and ice-cream has been replaced with...nothing (who is stupid enough to replace ice-cream with anything? And no, I won't be accepting your frozen yoghurt.) Instead of spending the day watching the best theatre and comedy the world has to offer, I'm back to watching Cash in the Attic and This Morning. And I couldn't be happier. Being in Edinburgh is bloody brilliant but it's relentless. You're tied to the job you're up contracted to do and you have a month of knowing all too well what each day will bring. But now I'm back and I really don't know what's coming up next. This morning I've already applied to play a businesswoman, a gang member's girlfriend and a budding actress and I haven't even emerged from my pyjamas yet.

Starting out again is an interesting thing. Last time I did it I was emerging from the comfort-blanket lined womb of drama school where your hand was being held at all times and you were lovingly passed from institution to agent with your jazz-shoed feet barely touching the ground. Of course it wasn't easy and it took me months to land my first job (cruel twists of fate meant that the first two jobs I was offered never happened) but I could bask in the glow of being a 'graduate.' And then, once you actually get that first job, you find yourself in a pleasing cycle of jobs leading to more auditions leading to even more jobs. But now, like the silly hamster I am, I've jumped off the wheel and now I have to work out how to get it back up and spinning again.

So my life is currently dedicated to contacting agents and applying for jobs while ignoring the little niggling voice in my brain wondering when money is going to start coming in again. Now I find myself in a different type of cycle: I need more credits on my CV to get agents interested but getting those roles without an agent is damn hard. So I'm currently applying for every acting role under the sun that I could legitimately play and sadly, while agentless, this means I'm mainly going up for unpaid work. The Great Unpaid Work Debate is an entry for another day but the fact remains that there will always be projects out there that offer no money and while you're trying to reignite your CV and boost your showreel, you will find yourself applying for them. Move along Morals and pack your bags Pride, there ain't no place for you here right now.

Tonight sees my first audition since getting back from Edinburgh. Check back tomorrow for another entry of woe...