Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Motivational Speaking

I firmly believe that when you're self-employed, there's always something you can be doing. In this silly thespy world there are always people to write to, jobs to apply for or monologues to be found. The naive Miss L likes to think that much of her spare time would be spent making invaluable connections with the big cheeses and top dogs in the world of film while reading a new classic play and honing the monologue that will change the world of theatre forever. Sadly the reality is very different. Days off, like today, is spent eating cheese, laughing at dogs in the park, reading pointless news stories in Funnily Enough/And Finally type sections while honing my knowledge of 90s indie.

I like to think that I'm a motivated individual and while I do keep myself busy, there's so much more I could be doing. Today I could've made myself known to directors, chatted up casting directors and flirted with filmmakers. But instead I received an education in drum & bass and then went to look at the deer in Alexandra Palace. If being easily distracted got the job offers coming in, I'd be in every new drama ITV desperately pins all it's hopes on. But it doesn't. It means that I get excited if someone asks to see me for an unpaid film where they will pay me in 'sand witches.' (that's a true quote. I still like to think that they actually meant what they said and if wasn't just a disappointing spelling mistake.)

As I'm agentless right now, I'm having to find the work myself and although I'm not doing too badly, I'm very dependent on the most malnourished of slim pickings that are offered to us lonely actors who have no one to care for them. And today the offerings were so few and far between that you could hear the struggling performers wailing in the gaps. Only if I were willing to undertake a sex change, age twenty years or go back and be brought up a different country could I have applied for something today. I've done many a silly thing for an audition (like buying a pair of skinny jeans) but there are limits. The desperation to show that you are willing to do anything for a role and to demonstrate that you take your profession seriously is strong but sadly factors inherited from the day you were born are very difficult to overcome. It should be a lesson to me that I should learn another skill during this free time to make myself more loveable to those who hold the casting wand. Maybe learn a language or how to juggle or how to convincingly be a male actor. But no, instead I chose to convince myself I'm being productive by writing a blog about the experience. Successful? No. Resourceful? Damn right I am.

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